Silent Flirting: What Your Body Language Is Saying About You, Part 1

Written by Joseph Matthews

Thursday, 19 March 2009 14:47

I wrote in a previous article about how verbal flirting is only a tiny percentage of the whole flirt.

Is it true? Most definitely, and there are lots of men who don't get this. Flirting is about silent communication, and quite a few men blow it way before they have a chance to talk to a woman.

So we need to make sure that doesn't happen to you. Let's take a look at some parts of the equation of flirting here.

Generally, flirting starts with eye contact.

So say you look at a girl, and she looks directly back at you. Wow, that can be uncomfortable huh? That depends entirely on you and how you feel about yourself.

If you feel good about yourself, then this is exhilarating. If that's not the case, it can be really scary.

Let's just say you are comfortable with yourself. The rush happens, and she holds the gaze a bit too long. This generally is a good sign.

If she doesn't meet your gaze, then it probably means she's not interested. Or, it could mean she's very shy or insecure in her surroundings. Many people are intimidated by large clubs. She might be.

Observe her and see how she's behaving towards other people. If she's not meeting their gaze either, it could be once of the above issues.

Going forward, let's see what she does with the eye contact. Does she break it, but look again quickly? That's a good sign, but don't be in a hurry to go talk.

If she smiles, it's a VERY good sign!

Before you rush in and start looking for the signs, take some time to learn this process. Often, we'll have the wrong of it when starting something new, as we have an idea of how these situations work, but don't really know them. Take the time to learn about this.

Sometimes, you'll get a full on stare and smile, but when you arrive, you'll get a cold response. This is NOT your fault, so don't think you did something wrong.

What happened there? I can't say, but I can make an educated guess based on the surroundings. Sometimes women are incorrigible flirts who are actually in a relationship. They just like the thrill of flirting, and their men don't mind. And so on and so forth.

Take a positive position with what you did. That's the key to success throughout the flirting stage.

Once you reach the flirtee, you should initiate the conversation. You know she's at least interested in speaking to you, so don't worry about "blowing it". That will only lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.

After the introduction, when you start to speak, there is an interaction between you and her that is natural, and is accepted almost universally. Once you begin speaking, eye contact will be broken by the speaker, looking back when it feels natural. Overall, when you are speaking, you'll be looking at her half the time, give or take. Keep it short, as this is bantering, and gaze at her when you are done speaking. That's the cue for her to talk.

At that point, she'll more than likely respond the same way. Now, when she is speaking, glance at her more than you were while talking. This shows you are interested in what she is saying. Make the looks brief, but you should be looking at her about two thirds of the time while she's talking.

This takes practice, but in time, you'll hone down this skill to a sharp edge, and have a whole different outlook on flirting!

Coming soon, I'll have more articles to broaden your perspective of non verbal flirting. Thanks for reading!

About the Author:

Joseph Matthews has been teaching men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely recognized as an expert in the field of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

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